it was my turn to bring grandma to church yesterday, and we met one of our friends along the way (somebody who actually stays in the same condo as her). they were baptised on the same day (last easter). and suddenly he mentioned, “hey pawpaw, tomorrow it will be a year to the day we were baptised!” i didn’t really realize what he was saying at that point of time, but

as i was happily listening to my cantopop today i realized how much time had actually passed. most of the songs in my playlist are oldies (the kind of music my mom used to have in the car). and so they brought me back to when i was young, sitting at the back of the car, when my grandma took care of me, and some of the more contemporary hits brought me to the past few years and especially the 12 months that had just passed.

it hasn’t been an easy journey for grandma these few years. first she had to deal with one of her daughters sick. then we had family politics. and this latest year she really had no choice but to trust and throw herself into the deep end. throwing herself into prayer. trusting in God whom she just got to know intimately like 2 months before her diagnosis.

but she survived! (: well, she lost her dentures (or rather the hospital nurses cleared them away for her without her permission), her blood sugar went a little crazy ‘cos of the medicine, her voice is a little raspy at times, she’s lost weight, but she is still in one piece. plus the family grew closer together, because of her, for her. praise God! (:

so, pawpaw, here’s to many more years. years of closer family bonds, years of good health. years to spend together to make up for all that lost time.

cheers,

ivy.

一人有一個夢想

如告知某一些的戀愛結果會心傷
曾愉快一試何妨
如告知我的一些感覺你不會欣賞
誰共你一般思想

不知那裡風向又傳來了花香
再次編織心中的幻想

一人有一個夢想　兩人熱愛漸迷惘
三人有三種愛找各自理想
一人變心會受傷　兩人願意沒惆悵
三人痛苦戀愛不再問事實與真相

何以我每當開始戀愛你這麼緊張
誰令你心跳若狂
何以我每當終止戀愛你變得輕鬆
流露你心中所想

Not by might,

Not by power,

but by my Spirit says the Lord

After checking out our SOW2010 tumblr, I have seen 2 new posts by Ivy & Soo. And continued to check out Soo’s tumblr… All my experiences at SOW 2010 just kept flashing back both in my heart & mind. Now, it is my turn to update everything…

It has been a Year & 4 days since we had been commissioned by His Grace at School of Witness. I had always been a doer always a busy bee (something I would never admit to). Never had I stopped to focus on myself, me + God = our Relationship. Now I have stopped.

<Ivy mentioned> its been a year since we were commissioned by the archbishop to be witnesses of Christ back in our parishes with the skills and knowledge and gifts we obtained during the school. have we been doing what we were sent out to do? have we tried to adapt what we learnt in sow for our parishes or wherever we are ministering, to reach out to the people there and help them to see God more clearly?

My friends at Amplify especially those that I was never close or never started a conversation with.. shared with me  ’Jonella, so and so said you wasn’t this happy before. And now you are wayyyyy Happier!” I realized, my conversion(s) will never stop. At every juncture of my life after SOW you’d see different situations I would go through and the results is I always emerged Happier than ever! The reason can only be, I have found God, reclaimed my identity, happy with who I am, focused not on doing but on building my Relationship with Christ (: 

Everyday’s just waking up to Praise God!  Though struggles and challenges will always come our way. It always bring us closer towards the Light of Christ. Having to know Christ’s love intimately again at Awaken…. That has been keeping me going everyday… For Christ’s Love surpasses everything!  As for me, this year would be one big step deeper… The entire focus would be building my relationship with Christ , to be more intimate with Him. I guess, I have found the Light! (: I am enjoying focusing on myself and not so much of doing - service. 

Lastly, sorry for not keeping in close contact with each and every single one of you

Praise God for all of you SOWERS 2010, Happy 1 Year Anniversary of our Commissioning! (: To know Christ and make him Known! 

-  Jonella

its now 101am, 10feb according to the clock on my (ivy’s) laptop. and the thought occupying most of the space in my brain is how much i detest schoolwork and how i feel that this module i’m struggling with is stupid, useless, and a waste of time.

at 101am, 10feb, 2010, i think we were all still awake, either rushing affirmation notes, clearing the avalanche of ants in the dining room, making the flowers, mopping the floor, or helping in one way or another for the big commissioning mass happening later in the morning. one thing i am quite sure of is that we were all united and focused on trying to make this last day of sow the best it could be.

its been a year since we were commissioned by the archbishop to be witnesses of christ back in our parishes with the skills and knowledge and gifts we obtained during the school. have we been doing what we were sent out to do? have we tried to adapt what we learnt in sow for our parishes or wherever we are ministering, to reach out to the people there and help them to see God more clearly?

today, we’re all in different places. sajad is probably still evading persecution. peter is studying in the seminary. all the nus people are studying different modules and majoring in different things. poey is studying in smu. jonella is coming to terms with the truths God has revealed to her over the past year. bessie is in aussie. gabpat is serving in the police force. joshua is beginning a new school year in cj.

10feb has a totally different meaning for each of us this year. but lets not forget what God, through archbishop, has sent us out to do. lets all make a redoubled effort to really live out what we’ve been called to - a Christ-like life that shows God’s love to all around us.

let us rejoice and be glad.

Father,
I abandon myself into Your hands,
do with me what You will.
Whatever You may do, I thank you;
I am ready for all,
I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into Your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love You, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into Your hands,
without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for You are my Father

- Charles de Foucauld

Hello SOWers!

Heh. I know it’s been like *gasp* eight months since SOW and so far I’ve neglected to post on mountainmovers at all! >< I have these inspirations to write, but by the time I rediscover our gmail and password I’ve lost all drive lol D:

Anyway thought I’d share one big thing I learnt at the sort-of-closing retreat of the ACCC (Archdiocesan Catechist Coordinators’ Course, which is funny cause I’m not really a catechist nor coordinator), which was why I ponned Swee’s 21st birthday party :X

I’ve been struggling with the surrendering that Br Fritz so advocated to us with such conviction since the end of SOW. Firstly with the crappy A’s results, the back and forth over possibly not making it to the engin course I wanted, issues in my parish and now being in school and the stupid Fourier Series plus the entire madness of how I might have picked the wrong major >< Heap on this other rubbish/problems that have been floating around my head for ages.

So anyway in most of these thing’s I’ve somehow reached a stalemate. Or limbo. Or more like can’t be bothered to poke anything anymore, and just go with the flow. So this weekend retreat that was held from CSC (a perfect example of God’s grace and odd way of leading us back to Him, a retreat at my favourite 24-hour ado!) helped me rediscover this mystery of living life with God, because evidently it’s not always pretty lol.

Although the retreat was sort-of a working one, I found myself digging alot spiritually into all these issues I’ve been having with surrender and how to discern.

I can still sort-of remember what I drew from SOW (without digging up my notebook) that overall as being a witness, that the point is not really to walk up to a random person and blast God in their face, but to be a witness by word and action. In essence, to be the channel of God’s love reaching other people around us. A funny way to put it would be to show God’s love a little bit, plant a seed and then let God do His thing XD

So likewise in our discernment, asking questions and uncertainty. Lately I’ve been just asking lots of questions and getting very annoyed when I don’t get a direct and superbly obvious answer. (Hmm, that sounds like my struggle with MA1505 too…) This pretty much leaves me tired of trying and perhaps a little angry with God.

This weekend it suddenly hit me that I was like leaping ahead of myself, and God even, cause I just want things in my time and not His. Whoops. And now I feel called to just surrender. Perhaps not just like let go and lepak, but in a way calm my very emotional self down and clarify my thoughts, the chain of events and the circumstances. In short, just ask myself, “how did I get here?” Then with that basic understanding, offer up the sense of limbo and entire situation to God, and trust that now that you’ve given everything to Him, He can do what he wants with you.

Which sounds really scary to me, even right now.

But I suppose that this has been a revelation to me, since SOW and through this ACCC that we are called to live and dwell in the mystery, the why, and slowly discover God revealed in our lives. To ponder and let the time (though we don’t really appreciate any lags) and various happenings teach us God’s love.

Again, in short, just shut up, get clear on what’s going on, surrender (perhaps offer the thing up during mass during the Eucharistic rites), dwell quietly and observantly, and let God do His thing.

Hahahaha. Easier said than done.

I kind of know I’ll get grumpy and annoyed again over the next few weeks of school, but I hope I do better with God after this.

Boof!

Manymanymany love,

Becca  ♥

pray in Jesus name when you lose all your ways.